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               We               Are               Family               
               http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s81/wedthaigirl/AAAcousins_zps5021f9e1.jpg
               We               were               so               blessed               that               my               cousins,               uncles,               and               aunts               got               together               with               us               for               a               wedding               reception               (10               years               later               or               an               early               10-year               wedding               anniversary               party.

You               can               take               your               pick               whichever               one               you               choose               that               sounds               the               best               J).

I               actually               had               no               idea               of               the               heart-felt               connection               I               had               with               them               even               though               I               am               not               fluent               in               Thai.

We               all               ate               a               la               carte               meals               of               tasty               Thai               dishes               including               yum               nua               (beef               salad),               fried               fish               (bla               tod),               coconut               chicken               soup               (tom               kha               gai),               etc.

Thai               food               can               be               a               commonality               in               the               U.S.,               but               authenticity               is               unusual.

To               top               it               off,               my               uncles               had               stood               up               and               had               given               us               a               commemorative               speech               (my               father               being               the               Thai               to               English               translator               and               vice               versa)               about               how               they               all               welcomed               us               to               Thailand               (and               Ted               to               the               Kawewong               family)               and               congratulated               us               for               our               10-year               wedding               anniversary               (or               late               10-year               reception).

There               was               live               music               in               the               background               and,               unbeknownst               to               me,               they               expected               me               to               sing               karaoke               (of               course               I               didn't               mind               because               I               enjoy               it)               in               spite               of               my               forewarnings               that               my               best               singing               originates               from               the               shower               and               not               from               a               stage.

I               sang               "I               Can't               Help               Falling               In               Love               With               You"               by               Elvis               Presley.

Yes,               I               became               Peachy               Presley               (my               nickname               for               the               night).

My               dad               immediately               followed               with               a               Thai               love               song.

One               of               my               uncles               followed               suit               with               a               karaoke               Thai               love               song               of               his               own.

They               also               presented               us               with               a               beautiful               (and               tasty!)               cake               that               had               coconut               filling.

It               was               a               wonderful               evening               filled               with               family               love               and               laughter.

Each               set               of               my               uncles/aunts/cousins               also               topped               the               evening               off               with               monetary               gifts               for               our               anniversary.

It               definitely               was               an               unexpected,               pleasant               occasion!

"Wai"               Hug?In               America,               people               who               haven't               seen               each               other               for               any               length               of               time               usually               hug               (the               intensity               and               duration               of               the               hug               is               usually               parallel               with               the               length               of               time               the               huggers               haven't               seen               each               other).

As               some               of               you               may               know,               my               mother               died               in               1986               and,               since               then,               I               have               only               seen               my               aunties               and               cousins               twice               since               then               (once               in               2001               and               the               second               time,               a               few               days               ago               in               Bangkok)               on               my               mother's               side               of               the               family.

In               spite               of               this,               I               knew               that               my               aunties               who               were               raised               old               school               Thai               would               only               "wai"               (hands               placed               together               with               fingers               pointing               up               with               a               slight               bow)               to               the               only               niece               of               their               beloved               sister               whom               they               had               scarcely               seen               in               30               years.

I               had               to               shift               affection               gears               from               my               huggy               self               and               only               did               a               "wai"               when               I               saw               the               aunties.

One               auntie,               in               particular,               who               is               the               youngest               of               my               mother's               sisters               looked               especially               like               my               mother.

I               just               couldn't               refrain               myself               and               I               had               to               hug               her               and               she               hugged               me               back.

Growing               up               as               an               American               girl               had               molded               me               into               a               huggy               person               (when               I               first               meet               them               after               a               long               conversation               or               if               I               hadn't               seen               them               in               a               few               weeks,               months               or               years).

I               missed               my               aunties               (even               though               they               spoke               very               little               English               and               I               speak               minimal               Thai:               we               communicated               by               "Thaienglish"               -               a               combo               of               Thai               and               English)               and               I               "wai'd"               them               out               of               respect.

One               even               drove               several               hours               just               to               visit               with               me               and               I               knew               I               only               could               "wai"               her.

Perhaps               one               of               these               days,               the               Thais               can               also               join               the               westernized               form               of               affection               and               give               a               half-"wai"               and               half-hug:               like               a               "wug"               or               something.

Perhaps               bowing               with               one               hand               and               using               the               other               arm               to               hug               the               beloved               family               or               friend.

Maybe               I               should               start               a               "wug"               trend               for               the               younger               Thai               generation?
               Knock-Offs
               A               purse               for               under               $20!

Incredible…or               is               it?

Various               factories               are               strewn               throughout               Asia               and               other               continents               that               copy               (based               on               available               materials               and               accurate               "blue-prints"               of               the               design)               brand-name               purses,               clothes,               jewelry,               movies,               accessories,               etc.

One               of               the               things               that               tans               my               cousin's               hide               (off               her               purses)               -               who               is               a               manager               for               Coach               purses               in               China               (legitimately!)               are               knock-offs.

Knock-offs,               while               illegal               manufacturers               and               their               workers               try               to               legitimize               their               copying               -               put               companies               and               employees               out               of               work               eventually.

Also,               there               is               an               uncertain               amount               of               knock-offs               that               are               unfortunately               forged               in               the               heat               of               sweat-shops               and               labor               human               trafficking.

How               on               earth               do               they               have               DVD               movies               for               sale               in               SE               Asia               that               are               still               available               in               the               theater?

Reason               #1:               There               are               some               movies               that               are               available               in               Asia               first               and               the               rest               of               the               world               second.

Reason               #2:               More               than               likely               somebody               had               snuck               in               a               video-cam               into               the               movie               theater               and               recorded               it               and               burned               it               onto               a               DVD,               even               with               the               understood               threat               of               financial               penalty               and/or               imprisonment.

Even               though               copyright               laws               are               universal,               the               laws               are               difficult               to               enforce               when               the               people               behind               the               illegal               DVD-recording               and               burning               are               obscure,               sparse               and               hard               to               track               down.

I               recall               a               friend               who               was               recanting               a               story               of               her               friend               who               used               to               buy               knock-off               purses               from               a               Chinese               woman               (in               the               U.S.).

The               Chinese               woman               was               about               to               strike               another               deal               selling               her               knock-off               purses               to               my               friend's               friend               when               she               said,               "Oh               no!

I               got               to               go!

Police               here               and               they               raiding               us!"               followed               by               the               woman               slamming               down               the               phone.

I               recall               a               movie               called               "Knock-Off"               with               Jean               Claude               Van               Damme               about               -               you               guessed               it               -               knock-offs.

I               recall               that               the               shoes               he               was               running               in,               although               they               looked               appealing               because               he               thought               they               were               brand-name,               the               sole               of               the               shoe               started               to               peel               off               from               the               rest               of               the               shoe.

I               admit               that               I               did               buy               a               purse               (not               brand-name)               that               looked               like               it               was               classy               for               about               $18               in               Laos               only               to               have               it               fall               apart               in               a               few               days.

You               definitely               get               what               you               pay               for.

I               guess               that's               how               most               things               in               life               are.

If               you               invest               a               little,               don't               expect               to               get               a               lot               in               return.
               Universal               Plugs
               If               only               I               had               done               my               research               on               electrical               outlets               (plugs)               around               the               world               before               I               burned               out               my               hair-dryer               and               other               appliances.

I               plugged               in               my               hair-dryer               and               it               did               work;               however,               after               a               few               days               in               Thailand,               I               started               noticing               a               burnt               carbon               smell               emanating               from               the               hair-dryer.

Concerned               that               my               hair-dryer               might               spark               into               my               hair               (and               heaven               forbid,               it               would               be               a               worse               scene               than               Michael               Jackson's               hair               caught               on               fire               in               the               Pepsi               commercial),               I               quickly               unplugged               it               and               allowed               my               hair               to               go               wet.

When               I               complained               to               my               dad               about               the               electrical               outlet               issue,               he               notified               me               that               Thailand               emits               220               volts               of               power               and               most               U.S.

appliances               only               can               take               about               110               volts,               thus               the               burnt               smell               of               the               fuse               in               the               hair-dryer               caused               my               short               fuse.

When               I               used               my               dad's               adapter/transformer               in               which               I               plugged               in               my               U.S.

hairdryer               on               one               end               of               it               for               110               volts               and               plugged               it               into               the               outlet               in               Thailand,               it               worked!

When               we               were               in               a               Finland               hotel,               we               thought               mistakenly               since               we               were               in               Europe,               they               would               also               share               the               same               type               of               outlet               (3-prong).

Ted               couldn't               charge               his               electrical               razor               or               tooth-brush,               so               he               went               fuzzy               today.

Knowing               that               we               had               about               6               hours               due               to               the               delay               in               flight               in               the               Helsinki               airport,               I               knew               I               had               to               distract               myself               so               the               hours               would               glide               by               while               surfing               the               Internet.

We               tried               to               plug               it               into               the               outlet               at               the               airport               to               no               avail,               unfortunately.

We               went               to               the               electronics               store               in               the               airport               and               I               asked               if               they               had               an               adapter               to               adapt               a               3-prong               plug               into               a               2-round               prong               outlet               (I               am               sure               there               are               more               technical               names               for               these               plugs).

I               bought               the               adapter               for               13.95               Euros               (around               $16               USD)               and               went               back               to               sit               down               at               the               terminal               to               plug               the               adapter               in               and               lo               and               behold,               that               adapter               didn't               even               work.

So,               we               went               back               to               the               store               to               get               a               refund               or               exchange               and               I               told               them               it               didn't               work               and               then               they               directed               me               to               a               3-prong               adapter               for               U.S.

appliances               (apparently               not               all               3-prong               plugs               are               equal).

Alas,               that               finally               worked.

Apparently,               there               are               several               types               of               outlets               in               the               world               and               so               far               we               have               experience               with               4               types               of               them:               the               Asia               outlet               that               is               2-prong               and               round,               the               European               2-prong               that               is               round               (maybe               they               are               one               and               the               same?),               the               European               3-prong               that               is               also               round,               and               of               course,               the               North               American               and               Canadian               plug               that               is               2               or               3               prong               and               flat.

So               many               plugs               and               so               little               time!
               Movies               and               Books               based               in               Thailand
               There               have               been               various               movies               that               have               been               filmed               in               Thailand,               mainly               in               Bangkok,               which               is               like               the               Los               Angeles               of               SE               Asia.

Both               Los               Angeles               and               Bangkok,               respectively,               are               called               (in               English)               the               "City               of               Angels               "               (in               Spanish               and               Thai).

Ironically,               my               parents               went               from               one               "City               of               Angels"               (Bangkok)               to               another               (L.A.)               when               they               immigrated               to               the               U.S.

Usually,               there               are               action               films               and               a               few               that               are               comedy.

Apparently,               to               amplify               the               exotic"ness"               of               the               film,               Bangkok               is               the               place               to               hold               martial               art               and               kick-boxing               (Muay               Thai)               fights;               have               assassins               change               their               mind               about               their               dangerous               activities;               have               car,               motorcycle               and               foot               chases               from               bad               guys;               and               of               course,               the               new               Bourne               Identity               was               filmed               there               (the               last               segment).

There               is               a               new               movie               called               "The               Encounter               2:               Paradise               Lost"               that               is               also               filmed               in               Thailand               (written               by               my               friend,               Sean               Paul               Murphy,               and               starring               David               AR               White               who               used               to               star               in               "Saved               By               The               Bell").

I               am               slightly               flattered               and               fascinated               that               movie               producers               and               screenwriters               want               to               work               with               the               accommodating               people               of               Thailand               to               create               a               movie               there               that               eventually               is               worth               millions               of               dollars.

Also,               there               have               been               several               books               based               in               Thailand               (although               I               can't               think               of               any               of               over               them               right               now).

Want               to               create               a               movie               on               the               land               I               now               own               in               Bangkok               due               to               my               grandmother               giving               it               to               me               as               an               inheritance?

All               I               ask               is               for               10%               of               the               movie               proceeds.

Ha               ha.

;)
               En-light-enment
               I               noticed               immediately               that               all               of               the               facial               creams               and               lotions               that               purport               to               make               one's               skin               soft               and               supple               all               have               one               thing               in               common:               they               are               designed               to               whiten               one's               skin.

In               stark               contrast               to               the               U.S.

in               which               fair-skinned               ladies               go               to               tanning               booths               by               the               droves               (or               at               least               desire               to               look               "healthy"               by               "getting               some               sun").

Some               even               are               "tan-a-holics"               that               get               a               euphoric               "high"               when               they               are               exposed               to               the               UV               lights               of               the               tanning               bed               to               the               point               of               looking               charred               to               a               crisp               (like               the               "tanorexic"               mom)               with               an               unnatural               leather               brown               shade               to               their               skin.

I               always               wondered               in               the               U.S.

why               fair-skinned               ladies               desire               to               look               tan/brown               when               they               have               naturally               beautiful               ivory               skin.

All               things               westernized               (including               beauty)               have               become               the               standard               of               beauty               in               Asia,               including               lighter               skin.

My               late               mother               was               from               Southern               Thailand               (Ayuthaya/Bangkok               area)               and               she               was               beautiful               and               darker               than               me               and               my               father               is               from               Northern               Thailand               (Chiangmai)               and               is               lighter               than               me               so               I               came               out               with               a               skin               shade               of               olive               in               between.

Every               model               that               I               see               adorning               the               commercials,               billboards,               magazines,               television,               etc.

is               fair-skinned.

When               I               was               getting               my               hair               done               I               noticed               that               there               was               a               beauty               service               for               lightening/tattooing               the               lips               (and               breast)               skin               pink!

I               never               thought               pink               skin               was               an               upper               echelon               standard               of               beauty               in               Asia               until               I               saw               these               particular               services               and               products.

I               can               understand               why               women               would               want               to               tattoo               their               lips               mauve               (so               they               don't               have               to               wear               lipstick),               but               they               desire               to               have               their               lips               look               pink               naturally               (as               if               they               were               fair-skinned)               as               opposed               to               brown/olive               lips.

Anyhow,               I               tried               to               not               become               offended               by               the               Asian               desire               to               look               fair-skinned               at               all               costs               (to               the               point               of               wearing               face               visors               to               shield               their               faces               from               the               tanning               effects               of               the               sun).

Changing               one's               skin               from               light               to               dark               or               dark               to               light               in               excess               (while               considered               the               beauty               flavor               of               the               era),               needless               to               say,               can               be               quite               detrimental.

The               Asian               desire               to               have               lighter               skin               reminds               me               of               the               Victorian               beauty               standard               of               light/pale               skin.

It               almost               sounds               unbelievable               that               ladies,               at               one               point               in               American               history,               desired               to               showcase               a               waxen               pallor               on               their               epidermis.

One               of               the               detrimental               practices               of               the               Victorian               ladies               was               to               actually               swallow               arsenic               pills               to               reduce               the               oxygen               in               the               blood               to               create               the               pallor.

In               fact,               to               have               darker               skin               (something               coveted               by               many               U.S.

women)               was               considered               characteristic               of               the               lower               class               (spending               too               much               time               in               the               sun               performing               manual               labor).

I               am               reminded               of               the               Song               of               Solomon               in               which               Solomon's               wife               had               said               she               was               "dark               and               lovely".

I               wish               that               others               would               also               see               that               if               they               have               darker               skin               they               also               are               considered               lovely               as               well.

Also,               I               am               reminded               that               we               all               are               "wonderfully…made"               in               the               eyes               of               God,               no               matter               what               skin               color:               light,               medium,               or               dark.
               Shower               to               Shower
               One               of               the               things               (among               many)               we               had               to               get               used               to               were               that               the               shower               was               part               of               the               toilet               and               sink.

What               I               mean               is               that               the               shower               didn't               have               a               separate               enclosure               (closed               off               by               a               curtain,               tub,               or               glass)               so               that               everything               gets               wet               (in               most               bathrooms)               so               it's               impossible               to               have               a               change               of               clothing               or               a               towel               hanging               up               because,               more               than               likely,               it               is               going               to               become               damp               with               shower               water.

There               is               one               central               drain               in               the               middle               of               the               (usually               small               to               medium)               bathroom               that               drains               into               a               pipe               or               directly               underneath               the               house               onto               the               ground.

Thais               (and               foreigners,               too)               usually               prefer               to               wear               shower               shoes               to               protect               one's               feet               (and               also               to               shield               one's               feet               from               getting               wet               again               should               you               need               to               re-enter               the               bathroom).

We               quickly               understood               the               need               for               "shower               shoes".
               This               Land               is               Your               Land
               One               of               the               main               reasons               why               we               visited               (besides               seeing               my               family)               is               so               that               I               could               inherit               the               land               that               my               grandmother               on               my               mother's               side               has               bestowed               to               me               in               her               will               (among               the               other               cousins).

To               do               so,               I               needed               to               jump               through               the               legal               hoops               of               renewing               my               Thai               passport               (even               though               my               Thai               birth               certificate               was               destroyed               in               an               earthquake               in               LA               in               1994)               in               Miami               as               well               as               getting               my               Thai               I.D.

(there               were               other               complexities               involved               with               this               undertaking               both               for               my               dad               and               for               me).

The               long-awaited               day               for               the               property               to               be               transferred               in               my               name               arrived               and               we               went               to               the               city               clerk               office               in               Ayuthaya               (by               Bangkok).

When               my               father               drove               us               to               the               land,               it               was               in               a               rural/country               area               where               my               mother               grew               up.

It               was               an               unpaved               dirt/stone               road               with               miles               of               rice               fields               and               paddies.

The               people               knew               of               my               mother               in               the               village               and               they               kept               saying               that               I               looked               like               my               mother,               which               was               a               compliment.

There               was               a               banana               tree               growing               nearby.

I               did               have               an               opportunity               to               have               my               uncle               sell               the               land               and               give               me               about               $3,000               USD               for               it,               but               then               the               money               (even               if               we               save               it)               will               one               day               be               spent               as               opposed               to               owning               a               portion               of               land               that               my               grandmother               bequeathed               to               me               in               the               area               that               my               precious               late               mother               grew               up               in.

My               fraction               of               the               property               was               indeed               quite               interesting               as               I               didn't               know               what               purpose               I'd               use               it               for               (except               to               build               a               retirement               house               for               Ted               and               me).

Perhaps               God               will               reveal               the               purpose               of               this               land               shortly.

I               have               never               owned               property/land               (other               than               jointly               with               Ted               in               a               house)               in               my               life               until               today.

This               land               is               finally               my               land               that               my               father               desired               me               to               have.

If               there               is               a               worldwide               food               shortage               of               rice,               perhaps               people               will               turn               to               my               rice               fields!
               Shirt               Tales               
               http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s81/wedthaigirl/shirt_zpsd045aa50.jpg
               I               have               been               custom               imprinting               shirts               and               mouse-pads               since               2006               (and               other               imprintable               items)               and,               while               my               parents               visited               us               in               2010,               someone               took               a               picture               of               the               four               of               us               on               a               Duck               Tour               ride               in               Miami.

My               father               requested               that               I               emblazon               two               red               shirts               (one               for               my               dad               and               another               for               my               stepmom)               with               this               particular               photo.

I               was               shocked               to               learn               that               after               I               mailed               these               shirts               that               someone               (either               in               the               U.S.

or               Thailand               or               en               route               between)               had               confiscated,               stolen,               or               destroyed               my               shirts               that               I               sent               him               in               2011               for               his               birthday.

Why               would               anyone               want               to               wear               a               customized               shirt               with               a               strange               family               on               the               front,               smiling?

I               wonder               (if               they               were               stolen)               if               the               thieves               ever               wore               the               shirts               and               had               people               question               who               the               family               was               on               the               front?

Would               you               want               to               wear               a               shirt               with               an               unknown               family               on               the               front,               let               alone               want               to               keep               the               model               family               photo               in               a               new               photo               frame?

Thankfully,               while               we               were               here,               we               had               a               nice               photo               taken               of               the               my               dad,               stepmom,               Ted               and               me               that               I               will               newly               create               when               I               return               home….and               will               send               it               via               Fed-Ex               or               UPS               in               which               the               courier               must               guard               and               deliver               it               with               my               dad's               signature               (or               else               that               company               pays               me               for               the               customized               shirts).
               The               King               and               I
               I               found               it               quite               interesting               that               after               the               movie               previews               but               before               a               showing               of               one               of               the               latest               American               movies               in               the               Bangkok               IMAX               movie               theater,               a               musical               montage               of               photos               of               the               King               of               Thailand               was               displayed               (along               with               Thai               people               praising               the               virtues               of               the               King).

Immediately,               all               the               people               in               the               movie               stood               up               (like               Americans               do               at               the               singing               of               the               national               anthem               at               a               sporting               event)               to               pay               honor               and               homage               to               the               king.

There               were               various               photos               of               the               king               providing               advancements               to               various               Thailand               communities               that               showed               his               benevolence.

Albeit,               the               photos               were               about               20               or               so               years               old               when               he               was               a               younger               man               (he               has               become               ill,               unfortunately).

Ted               asked               me               what               everyone               was               doing               and               I               said,               "They               are               standing               up               to               honor               the               king."               Neither               of               us               were               briefed               about               the               nationalistic               requirement               to               stand               up               during               this               video               montage.

We               just               went               with               the               Thai               flow.

Actually,               while               I               don't               remember               standing               up               in               a               movie               theater               for               the               king               when               I               was               a               child               watching               a               movie               in               the               theater               in               the               early               80's,               I               do,               however,               remember               that,               to               conserve               energy,               the               television               channels               (there               were               only               a               few)               would               show               the               Thai               flag               waving               in               the               air               with               a               Thai               national               anthem               before               they               shut               off               around               9pm               to               open               up               again               around               6pm.

Now,               of               course,               the               Thai               airwaves               have               operational               channels               24/7               and               don't               necessarily               display               this               nationalistic               montage.

The               king               and               royalty               is               adored               and               honored               by               the               Thais.

In               fact,               if               he               is               seen               in               his               royal               carriage               (car)               in               the               city               or               country,               the               Thais               bow               down               and               perform               a               "wai"               (hands               placed               together               in               an               upward               direction)               and,               in               the               Thai               language,               state               something               to               the               effect               of               asking               the               king               to               rule               and               reign               over               their               very               life               in               a               worshipful               manner.

This               concept               is               really               foreign               to               us               Americans               as               we               have               a               democratic               (and               not               monarchistic)               society               in               which               the               presidents               are               elected               and               the               presidency,               obviously,               doesn't               go               to               the               next               male               heir.

In               fact,               if               anyone               is               seen               dishonoring               the               king               in               any               way,               shape,               or               form,               they               could               be               imprisoned               for               up               to               a               life-time.

In               contrast,               in               American               politics,               people               are               free               to               elect               whomever               candidate               floats               their               political               boat               and               speak               publicly               against               the               candidate               that               was               elected               whom               they               don't               agree               with               (political               cartoons,               jokes,               radio               and               television               talk               shows,               campaigns,               newspaper/magazine               articles,               etc.).

Even               though               the               concept               of               standing               up               in               a               movie               theater               to               honor               the               king               is               foreign               to               us,               it               still               is               preferable               over               the               North               Korea               communistic               dictatorship               any               day               of               the               week               in               which               people               can               be               imprisoned               or               killed               for               not               looking               mournful               enough               at               the               passing               of               Kim               Jong               Il.

What               a               contrast!

"My               country               tis               of               thee!

Sweet               land               of               liberty!"
               Love               Is               In               the               Air(waves)
               Even               though               I               couldn't               understand               about               70               to               80%               of               Thai,               Ted               and               I               watched               Thai               music               videos               or               TV               shows               (most               centered               around               a               love               theme).

It's               interesting               that               from               culture               to               culture,               there               seems               to               be               songs               centered               around               love,               heartbreak,               relationships,               falling               in               it               and               out               of               love,               etc.

Love               is               the               universal               language.

For               the               Thai               music               video               countdown,               I               observed               one               music               video               and               the               story               line               was               fairly               easy               to               decipher               because               of               the               people's               gestures,               character               interaction               and               dramatization.

I               remember               when               I               was               a               child,               I               was               within               frequent               earshot               of               my               parent's               favorite               love               songs.

I               even               mentioned,               when               I               was               a               kid,               to               my               parents               that               I               hear               the               same               words               over               and               over               again               such               as               "shewit"               (meaning               "soul"               in               Thai),               "hooah               jai"               (meaning               "heart")               and               "seah               jai"               ("sadness").

People               are               relatively               similar               around               the               globe,               just               with               a               different               appearance.

I               heard               Thai               alternative               rock,               rap,               contemporary               music,               and               (eek!)               "country"               music               (which               my               dad               loves.

It's               not               what               you               think).

U.S.

country               music               is               very               dissimilar               to               Thai               country               music.

Check               this               out               on               You               Tube               for               music               my               dad               likes.

He               even               criticized               the               Thai               modern               music               (that               was               quasi-listenable               to               us)               and               said               that               the               lyrics               were               too               superficial/shallow.

The               more               things               change,               the               more               they               stay               the               same.
               Accents
               It's               funny               that               we               as               North               Americans               parody               the               accents               of               people               who               are               ESL               (English               as               a               Second               Language)               because               they               may               not               be               able               to               pronounce               the               "r"               like               in               river               or               "g"               as               in               "go"               or               say               words               or               phrases               in               an               awkward,               humorous,               or               humorously               awkward               way.

I               remember,               as               a               child,               my               parents               kept               having               to               apologize               for               my               lack               of               fluency               in               Thai               and               I               don't               think               I               will               ever               sound               like               a               native               Thai               speaker               and               no               matter               what               CD               or               class               I               take               in               Thai,               I               will               always               speak               Thai               with               a               North               American/Californian               accent.

It               is               interesting               that               we               as               Americans               (who               have               a               "midland"               accent               which               is               another               way               of               saying               those               from               the               west               coast               don't               really               have               an               accent,               so               to               speak.

Au               contraire!

We               have               an               accent               to               those               who               are               from               the               Midwest,               South,               Northeast,               etc.

in               the               U.S.)               I               read               that               the               linguistic               center               of               one's               brain               becomes               more               solidified               equivalent               to               the               amount               of               time               that               a               person               spends               in               a               country               for               the               first               12               years               of               life.

Imagine               if               someone               was               born               in               Asia               and               spent               the               first               five               years               there,               then               moved               to               the               Middle               East               for               3               years,               then               Africa               for               the               next               3               years,               then               South               America               for               the               next               few               years,               and               then               the               U.S.

(Texas,               Boston,               Oklahoma,               and               California).

What               an               eclectic               mix               of               accents               that               acculturated               person               would               have!

This               would               certainly               be               the               cure               for               xenophobia               for               sure.
               Food
               My               relatives               can               create               Thai               culinary               dishes               from               their               own               cranium               without               having               to               read               instructions               or               to               follow               directions               on               a               packet               of               Thai               food               mixture               (like               I               do).

My               auntie               made               the               highly               coveted               (by               us,               at               least)               Thai               appetizer               when               she               visited               (my               stepmom's               sister,               Auntie               Chaunpit,               who               is               a               Thai               cook/chef)               which               is               the               chicken               satay               with               peanut               sauce               (she               soaked               the               pieces               of               chicken               -               to               be               grilled               on               skewers               -               in               a               tasty               marinade               all               night).

Usually               these               are               about               5               skewers               for               about               $8               to               $10               in               the               U.S.

at               a               restaurant.

Not               so               with               Auntie               Chaunpit!

My               stepmom               is               equally               as               talented               as               she               also               made               Pad               Thai               (like               a               Thai               pasta               dish),               Yum               Nua               (Thai               Beef               Salad),               and               other               assorted               dishes.

People               tend               to               ask               me               if               I               make               Thai               food               for               Ted               and               my               reply,               to               their               disappointment,               is               that               I               only               make               it               on               special               occasions               or               only               once               or               twice               a               year               (if               he's               lucky).

The               last               time               I               made               it               was               in               Christmas               2011               for               my               sister-in-law,               Lana,               and               her               husband               and               three               of               our               nephews.

They               didn't               know               what               to               compare               it               to,               so               they               ate               it               with               glee               (even               though               I               made               it               accidentally               super-spicy).

To               the               untrained               Thai               food               connoisseur,               I               am               a               chef….which               is               why               I               usually               make               Thai               food               just               for               non-Thai               family               and               friends               (so               they               don't               complain               that               I               follow               a               recipe               on               the               back               of               the               powder               mix).
               A               Mouse               By               The               House
               My               parents               live               in               a               beautiful               house               that's               on               a               quasi-farm               in               Chiangmai               (Northern               Thailand,               about               4               hours               away               from               Bangkok).

There               are               hens,               roosters,               and               baby               chicks               roaming               around,               crowing               at               all               hours               of               the               day               (and               night,               to               our               surprise.

Thankfully,               we               had               ear-plugs).

There               are               several               koi               in               a               pond               by               the               entrance               to               the               door               in               which               there               is               a               small               wooden               bridge               that               crosses               over               it.

In               the               morning,               before               our               trek               to               another               city,               I               decided               to               explore               their               backyard.

My               stepmom               had               stated               there               was               a               "noo"               (Thai               word               for               mouse)               in               a               cage               outside.

I               have               had               mice,               rats,               and               rabbits               for               pets               and               would               love               to               have               a               ferret               as               a               pet.

Delighted               to               see               their               pet               mouse,               my               pet-loving               mental               balloon               burst               as               they               promptly               told               me               that               the               cage               was               a               mouse               trap.

Inside,               I               saw               what               appeared               to               be               a               large               field               mouse               with               brown,               black,               and               white               markings.

It               looked               rather               content               in               the               cage               with               the               piece               of               food               that               was               set               inside               to               trap               the               poor               little               rodent.

My               dad               said               that               he               was               going               to               just               leave               the               mouse               in               the               cage               to               let               it               die/starve               to               death               during               our               2-day               trip               to               Chiangrai               to               see               my               uncles,               aunts,               and               cousins               and               visit               Burma               and               Laos.

I               intervened               and               said,               "No!

You               can't               just               leave               him               in               the               cage               to               die!

He               doesn't               even               have               any               water!"               Then               he               told               me               that               my               stepmom               -               seeing               how               distressed               I               was               -               said               that               they               were               going               to               take               him               with               us               to               the               foot-hills               en               route               to               our               destination               and               set               him               free.

Seeing               this               was               a               better               alternative               than               starving               and               becoming               dehydrated,               I               was               relieved.

My               parents               had               cut               open               a               large               water               bottle               and               placed               the               mouse               inside               it               and               taped               it               shut               (and               even               poked               a               few               holes               for               it               to               breathe).

The               "noo"               (in               the               large               water               bottle)               had               the               sentence               of               death               and               fear               etched               into               its               little               face               and               I               felt               sympathy               for               it.

I               then               placed               it               in               a               plastic               bag               and               put               it               in               the               back               of               the               truck.

When               we               arrived               in               the               foot-hills,               my               dad               removed               the               tape               from               the               water               bottle               and               it               jumped               out               and               ran               for               its               life               into               the               bushes.

It               didn't               even               turn               back               to               have               a               bite               of               the               banana               that               I               placed               in               front               of               the               bottle!

Free               at               last!

My               dad               did               advise               me               that               when               they               catch               mice               with               the               mouse               trap               (a               metal               cage               about               10               inches               in               length,               in               which               the               opening               shuts               when               it               senses               vibrations),               they               usually               set               it               free               like               they               just               did,               but               sometimes               if               they               get               lazy               they               would               leave               it               in               the               cage               with               its               last               supper               until               it               dies.

They               don't               even               ask               the               mouse               what               it               wants               for               its               final               meal.

;)               I               hope               that               by               my               intervention               that               they               will               continue               to               drive               the               rascals               to               the               hills               so               that               they               are               no               longer               considered               city               vermin,               but               country               mice               in               which               they               fend               for               themselves.


               This               Is               Your               Brain               on               Opium
               When               Ted               told               me               that               my               dad               was               going               to               drop               us               off               at               the               Hall               of               Opium               (an               opium               museum),               I               didn't               know               what               to               think.

It               sounded               as               if               the               museum               was               praising               the               virtues               of               illegal               opium               usage               and               nothing               could               be               further               from               the               truth.

The               Hall               of               Opium               (considered               "edutainment":               educational               and               entertainment)               was               built               about               ten               years               ago               and               there's               a               luxury               hotel               on               the               premises.

I               was               stunned               to               observe,               along               the               walls,               various               posters,               documentaries,               mannequins,               artifacts,               etc.

to               illustrate               the               detrimental               (and               some               beneficial               results               from               morphine               usage               in               the               medical               field)               effects               of               the               psychotropic               poppy               flower,               which               blocks               pain               receptors               and               increases               endorphin               (pleasure               hormones)               uptake.

How               people               get               addicted               is               that               the               absence               of               the               Opium               (or               any               drug)               causes               such               severe               withdrawal               symptoms               that               people               will               risk               everything               to               get               the               next               euphoric               high               from               it.

It               was               an               anti-drug               commercial               on               steroids               at               the               impressive               Hall               of               Opium.

It               was               a               cautionary               warning               museum               mandated               by               the               King               of               Thailand               and               the               royal               family               themselves.

The               opening               to               the               museum               was               a               long,               dimly-lit               hall               with               wood               carvings               of               grotesque,               tortured               faces               and               bodies,               showing               the               torment               of               Opium               addicts.

Out               of               all               the               poppy               species,               only               one               poppy               creates               Opium.

There               were               illustrations               of               Opium               usage               (medicinal               and               addictive)               throughout               history               that               stretched               mainly               in               Southeast               and               Far               East               Asia               (especially               in               Siam               -               the               traditional               name               of               Thailand               -               Burma/Myanmar,               Malaysia,               Vietnam,               the               border               of               China,               etc.).

There               were               wars               and               battles               fought,               commerce               and               merchants               that               had               opium               dens               (in               which               customers               would               recline               on               an               uncomfortable,               angular,               porcelain               pillow               and               wood               "bed"               to               make               the               Opium               addict               uncomfortable               while               they               smoked               in               a               reclining               position               to               make               room               for               the               next               customer),               labor,               farming,               laws               passed               mandating               its               usage               and               criminalizing               users               and               vendors               (especially               in               Siam               as               early               as               the               15th               century),               etc…..all               in               the               name               of               Opium.

There               was               also               an               illustration               of               the               penalties               and               criminalization               that               occurs               in               modern               countries               (the               U.S.

being               the               most               lax               concerning               usage               and               dealing,               including               financial               penalties               and               various               lengths               of               prison               time               for               the               1st,               2nd,               and               3rd               offenses.

The               most               serious               penalty               is               life               in               prison)               such               as               in               Singapore               and               other               Asian               countries:               possession               and               usage               results               in               death               or               life               in               prison.

No               pass,               go               or               collecting               $200.

Any               possession               and/or               usage               of               the               drug               will               cost               that               abuser               or               pusher               dearly               with               their               life.

No               wonder               why               Singaporeans               have               the               least               drug               problems               in               the               world.

Another               area               showed               modern-day               illustrations               and               photos               of               some               ways               people               who               have               smuggled               Opium               into               and               out               of               countries               such               as               cutting               open               the               torso               of               a               Teddy               Bear               and               filling               it               with               bags               of               Opium,               soaking               peaches               or               clothing               in               it               and               then               boiling               them               and               taking               it               off               the               top               of               the               water,               filling               condoms               with               it               and               then               having               the               perpetrator               swallow               the               condoms               in               hopes               that               they               will               pass               through               their               gastrointestinal               system               out               the               other               end               (often               times,               the               smuggler               will               die               because               the               gastric               juices               will               eat               away               at               the               condom               lining,               releasing               the               lethal               dosage               of               Opium               into               their               system),               and               other               means.

Close               to               the               exit               were               photos               and               newspaper               articles               of               famous               people               and               celebrities               infamous               for               their               drug               addictions               which               have               died               due               to               overdose               (very               politically               incorrect               according               to               the               U.S.).

At               the               exit,               there               were               pillars               that               were               etched               with               a               spiritual               proverb,               including               one               from               the               Bible,               interestingly               enough,               about               self-control               and               restraint               versus               indulgence               and               moral               laxity.

Overall,               it               was               an               informative,               yet               unsettling               visual               of               the               history               of               Opium               usage.
               Cold               Temperatures               in               Thailand?
               Through               connections,               my               parents               were               invited               (for               free!)               for               a               stay               at               the               Inthanon               National               Park.

I               was               forewarned               by               my               dad               to               bring               cold               weather               clothing.

Semi-balking               at               the               idea               that               Thailand               could               be               cold,               I               brought               minimal               clothing               for               frigid               temperatures               because               I               thought               "cold               Thailand"               was               an               oxymoron.

Situated               at               the               highest               peak               of               Thailand,               the               temperatures               plummeted               to               the               coldest               I've               ever               felt               (and               have               never               felt)               in               Thailand.

I               thought               it               was               curious               that               the               country               Thai               folk               were               wearing               cozy               hats,               scarves,               gloves,               clothing,               etc.

for               cold               temps.

Realizing               that               I               was               in               for               a               rude               temperature               awakening,               I               bought               a               pair               of               socks.

Little               did               I               know               it               was               0               degrees               Celsius               and               when               we               sat               outside               our               lodge,               we               could               see               our               breath.

The               impossible               was               made               possible               as               I               have               always               thought               that               Thailand               was               almost               unbearably               and               intolerably               hot               and               humid               in               the               summer               (when               I've               always               visited).

To               our               dismay,               the               lodge               we               all               were               staying               at               did               not               contain               any               heater.

Just               a               medium-thick               blanket               on               the               bed               was               all               that               shielded               us               from               the               cold.

The               bed               was               the               hardest               and               firmest               we've               ever               felt               in               our               life.

It               was               a               little               softer               than               a               box-spring.

In               fact,               I               think               it               was               just               a               box-spring.

I               had               leggings               and               sweats               on,               socks,               two               pairs               of               sweaters,               a               jacket,               and               a               fuzzy               hat               and               I               was               still               cold,               as               the               cold               reached               its               icy               fingers               to               my               body               inside               the               bedroom               of               the               lodge.

Of               course,               I've               felt               30               to               40               degree               temperatures               in               the               U.S.

and               Canada               (and               colder),               but               I               was               astonished               by               the               plummeting               temperatures               in               one               of               the               hottest               countries               in               the               globe.

We               were               surprised               that               we               slept               a               wink               while               shivering.

Thankfully,               my               parents               had               three               extra               sleeping               bags               and               loaned               us               two               on               top               of               the               blankets               that               we               had.

I               couldn't               figure               out               if               it               was               better               to               put               a               blanket               on               the               bottom               of               the               bed               to               make               the               stone-bed               softer               or               put               it               on               top               of               me.

It               was               a               beautiful,               picturesque,               scenic,               mountainous               area               with               a               stunning               view,               but               we               were               glad               to               thaw               out               in               Chiangmai,               a               south-ward               city.
               Fish               Therapy?
               The               first               time               I               saw               fish               therapy               was               in               the               movie               "Mirror,               Mirror"               with               Julia               Roberts               (in               which               she               plays               the               nefarious               stepmother               of               Snow               White               who               seeks               to               woo               a               prince               with               bizarre               beauty               treatments,               including               a               bee-sting               on               the               lips               and               scorpion               stings               on               the               skin               for               collagen               increase,               and               being               slathered               with               bird               manure               to               soften               and               detoxify               the               skin               which,               I               found               out,               is               also               a               modern-day               treatment               for               the               wealthy)               and               one               of               the               pampering               treatments               she               gives               herself               is               a               fish-nibbling               manicure.

We               were               all               amused               at               the               night               bazaar               (it               should               be               called               night               "bizarre",               which               is               a               fancy               way               of               saying               Thai               "flea               market"               with               the               various               vendors               selling               food,               clothing,               etc.)               when               we               spotted               two               large               aquariums               (probably               100               gallons               at               least)               full               of               tiny               fish               and               a               Caucasian               young               male               tourist               with               his               legs/feet               reclining               in               the               tank               with               the               little               fish               nipping               at               the               dead               skin               on               his               feet               and               legs.

Apparently,               there               are               certain               fish               that               only               find               dead               skin               and               callouses               a               delicacy.

The               Thai               vendor               of               this               curious               "fish               therapy"               charged               around               300               bahts               or               so               (around               $10               USD,               but               I               honestly               don't               remember               accurately)               for               a               dip               in               this               aquatic               pedicure               environment.

I               said               the               word               for               "dirty"               in               Thai               (which               is               "soak-a-poke",               humorously               enough)               to               my               parents               and               my               stepmom               agreed.

Basically,               if               you               paid               for               this               curious               therapy,               you               would               be               soaking               your               feet               in               an               aquarium               that               probably               doesn't               get               cleaned               out               often               in               which               dozens               of               other               tourists               have               also               soaked               their               legs               and               feet.

Again,               the               USFDA               would               be               fit               to               be               tied               (or               should               it               be               "fish               to               be               tied"?)               because               the               fish               could               spread               harmful               microorganisms               from               one               customer               to               the               next.

Eeeeewwww!

It               does               sound               a               bit               relaxing               and               I               was               tempted,               but               after               I               concluded               that               the               hygiene               of               this               therapy               was               fishy,               I               quickly               stopped               fishing               for               my               bahts               to               waste.
               Bargaining               in               Bangkok               and               Floating               Foreigners
               We               went               to               the               world               famous               "Floating               Market"               (in               Thai               it               is               called               "Dallat               Nam"               which               translated               literally               is               "Market               of               Water"               in               which               people               pay               a               water               boat               "chauffer"               to               use               a               motor-operated               boat               or               paddle               through               the               rivers               teeming               with               wide-eyed               foreigners               and               their               Thai               hosts               looking               for               a               deal).

Stores               are               built               on               stilts               in               which               vendors               sit               from               8am               to               12pm               selling               their               (usually)               hand-made               products.

You               can               purchase               souvenirs               such               as               Thai               novelty               dolls,               jewelry,               clothes,               purses,               bags,               fruits,               food,               etc.

for               a               third               or               fourth               the               cost               of               what               you'd               pay               at               an               indoor               mall.

Most               of               the               items               don't               have               a               label               with               a               price               listed               on               them               because               everything               at               this               curious               floating               flea               market               is               up               for               bargaining.

My               stepmother               ("Lek")               drives               a               hard-bargain.

She'll               usually               cut               them               down               to               25%               to               50%               of               their               cost               and               -               as               opposed               to               me               who               gives               in               too               easily               -               will               walk               away               if               she               doesn't               get               her               way.

She               will               ask               "Tumaye               pang?"               which               means               "Why               so               expensive?"               She               usually               will               bend               if               they               charge               her               about               10               bahts               (and               no               more)               above               her               asking               price.

She               could               teach               a               class               called               "Bargaining               in               Bangkok"!

Kudos               to               my               stepmom.

J               For               a               little               lady,               she               can               pack               a               discounting               punch!

Almost               everything               is               up               for               bargaining               (even               hotel               rates)               unless               the               person               you're               bargaining               with               doesn't               have               any               clout               and               is               an               employee               with               no               leverage               power.
               Along               Came               A               Spider
               Many               people               have               folklore               about               the               size               and               ferocity               of               Southeast               Asian               insects               such               as               the               large               flying               red               and               black               ants,               moths,               etc.

Ted,               however,               was               a               bit               suspicious               of               the               rumors               of               large               insects               until               this               morning.

We               stayed               at               a               cottage               lodge               in               Chang               Saen               (sp?)               and               Ted               was               about               to               take               a               shower               when               he               nonchalantly               walked               out               of               the               restroom               and               told               me               to               call               my               father               on               his               cell               phone               to               ask               him               if               we               could               use               his               shower.

Puzzled,               I               asked               him               why?

He               responded               that               he               is               glad               that               he               is               a               calm               person               and               that               he               will               notify               me               after               I               call               my               father.

Apparently,               while               he               was               shaving,               he               saw               a               huge,               black               spot               out               of               the               corner               of               his               eye               -               thinking               that               it               was               a               trail               of               ants               on               the               bathroom               wall               (as               is               their               usual               behavior).

Unfortunately,               it               turned               out               to               be               a               gargantuan               spider               the               size               of               the               length               of               my               hand               (about               eight               inches               in               diameter).

I               ran               outside               to               tell               my               father               because               he               wasn't               answering               his               cell               phone               and               my               dad               beckoned               a               hotel               employee               to               get               rid               of               it.

I               saw               a               Thai               employee               with               a               broom               approach               our               room               and               Ted               balked               at               the               idea               that               a               broom               could               rid               us               of               the               unwanted               bathroom               guest.

I               decided               to               wait               outside               when               the               young               woman               came               out               with               the               remains               of               the               Godzilla               spider               scrunched               up               in               a               napkin.

It               takes               a               lot               for               Ted               to               become               choked               up               and               usually               has               no               problem               squashing               a               bug               inside               our               house               (regular               North               American               size               pest)               so               I               realize               that               this               spider               (although               I               didn't               see               it               with               my               own               eyes)               must               have               been               rather               imposing               if               he               wanted               to               switch               restrooms               with               my               parents               to               shower.
               Borders,               Burma,               and               Boat               Rides
               My               stepmom               decided               to               stay               in               the               car               because               she               was               feeling               sick               and               tired               while               my               dad,               Ted               and               I               took               a               boat               across               the               Mekong               River               that               separates               Laos               and               Thailand.

A               few               things               made               us               feel               a               bit               nervous:               the               fact               that               Laos               is               a               communist               country,               but               does               allow               foreigners               to               visit               for               commerce               at               the               flea               market               at               the               border               and               the               boat               that               took               us               across               the               river               was               literally               a               small               motor               boat.

When               we               got               to               the               border               of               Laos               and               Thailand,               we               were               given               orange               life-preserver               vests               and,               to               my               surprise,               it               was               not               a               water               taxi               (barge               that               can               fit               several               dozen               people),               it               was               a               canoe-looking               motor/speed               boat.

I               was               unprepared               for               the               rough               ride               as               we               were               sprayed               by               river               water               (to               my               dismay               since               I               dressed               up               in               a               dress,               hose,               and               heels               because               I               thought               we               were               going               to               stay               in               the               city               and               meet               my               cousins/uncles/aunts               on               my               dad's               side               at               a               Thai               restaurant               first).

I               was               half-expecting               to               -               by               accident               -               tip               over               into               the               Mekong               River               so               I               was               holding               onto               my               purse               (which               contains               my               U.S.

and               Thai               passports)               and               snuggly               pressed               my               feet               against               the               boat               side               so               my               shoes               wouldn't               fly               off               into               the               water.

Despite               my               concerns,               we               arrived               safely               at               the               other               side               to               Laos.

There               was               a               man               who               helped               dock               the               boat               (by               simply               reaching               out               his               hand               and               pulling               the               boat               closer).

My               dad               made               the               mistake               of               giving               him               $100               baht.

Concerned,               I               asked               my               dad               why               he               didn't               tip               the               "boat               chauffer"               and               he               said               it               "was               the               same               company".

Looking               closer               at               the               man               who               pulled               the               boat               closer,               I               saw               that               he               was               homeless               with               rotted               teeth               and               tattered               clothing.

My               dad               just               "tipped"               a               Laotian               beggar               instead               of               the               boat               chauffer!

We               laughed               about               this               and               then               we               were               greeted               by               poor               Laotian               children               who               kept               chanting               "Hoy               baht!

Hoy               baht!"               as               they               were               panhandling,               looking               for               $100               baht               (equivalent               of               about               a               day's               wages               in               Laos               and               $3.50               in               USD).

My               dad               also               gave               a               few               bahts               to               the               children               and               then               when               we               saw               the               Laos               border               office,               a               sign               stated:               "Do               not               give               begging               children               money."               I               can               imagine               why               as,               unfortunately,               traffickers               take               advantage               of               children               -               knowing               full-well               that               tourists               feel               sympathy               for               the               children               and               take               all               the               children's               money               that               they               panhandled               in               exchange               for               agreeing               not               to               physically               abuse               or               kill               them               or               their               family               members               at               worst.

Ted               and               I               were               tense               because               -               in               addition               to               being               eyed               and               stared               at               by               SE               Asians               for               looking/acting/talking               differently               -               they               seemed               to               be               sizing               us               up               (especially               Ted)               as               a               "rich"               foreigner               who               is               useful               for               spending               cash               on               the               wares               that               they               were               hocking               at               the               border               Laotian               flea               market               or               giving               money               to               panhandlers.

After               I               bought               a               purse/backpack               for               $570               bahts               (equivalent               of               $18)               and               Ted               bought               a               few               souvenirs,               we               were               eager               for               the               boat               ride               back               to               Thailand.
               When               we               went               to               Burma,               there               were               numerous               checkpoints               in               which               we               (my               dad               and               I)               had               to               show               our               temporary               Thai               border               pass.

We               only               had               to               pay               $30               baht               at               the               Thai               border               and               $10               baht               at               Myanmar               (the               official               SE               Asian               name               for               Burma)               and               Ted               (feeling               price-gouged               due               to               his               "fulung"               status)               had               to               pay               $500               bahts.

In               contrast               to               our               visit               to               Laos,               they               actually               held               Ted's               passport               at               the               border               patrol               office               until               he               left,               which               made               him               feel               very               nervous               and               insecure,               considering               that               he               wouldn't               be               able               to               get               help               from               a               U.S.

embassy               if               he               needed               it               and               wouldn't               be               able               to               fly               back               home               to               Florida.

In               contrast               to               Laos,               children               weren't               panhandling               us;               however,               we               were               greeted,               this               time,               by               many               cigarette               vendors               (Burmese               men               -               and               few               women               -               that               carried               a               basket-full               of               cigars               and               cigarettes               in               front               of               them).

One               man               actually               became               fairly               aggressive               to               Ted               and               tried               to               persuade               him               (as               he               looks               like               a               "rich"               foreigner)               to               buy               cigarettes.

In               irritation,               as               we               were               walking               through               the               crowds               and               vendors,               Ted               retorted,               "I               DON'T               SMOKE!"               The               man               backed               off               and               said,               "Oh.

No               speak               English?"               then               the               vendor               tried               to               persuade               me               by               touching               my               arm               and               uttering               something               in               Thai               and               I               said,               "My               ow,               ka"               -               meaning               "I               don't               want               it,               but               thanks."               Ted               (and               not               me               as               much)               was               tense               and               terse               in               Burma               as               my               dad               -               in               a               relaxed               state               -               bought               Burmese               movies               (movies               that               are               for               the               SE               Asian               DVD               system               but               not               for               U.S.

usage)               at               a               cheap               price.

When               we               crossed               over               the               border,               the               Burmese               officials               asked               Ted               what               hotel               he               was               staying               at               tonight               and,               since               we               were               driving               three               hours               to               my               parents'               house               in               Chiangmai,               he               beckoned               me               over               (after               my               dad               and               I               crossed)               to               tell               the               officials               the               address               of               where               he               was               staying               (thankfully,               I               was               gazing               at               the               scenario               from               a               distance).

Concerned,               I               ran               over               to               my               dad               and               told               him               to               tell               the               Burmese               officials               his               home               address               (or               else               they               wouldn't               let               Ted               go!).

We               were               very               relieved               to               walk               back               to               Thailand.
               Tummy               Troubles
               Unfortunately,               since               the               7th               day               of               our               visit,               I've               succumbed               to               the               "deli               belly"               of               Thailand.

One               morning               a               few               days               ago,               I               knew               that               the               food               of               my               culture               (that               is               adored               by               the               culinary               world)               had               caused               my               stomach               to               turn               upside               down               with               gurgling,               burbling,               nausea,               pains               and               alas,               had               given               me               "issues"               so               to               speak.

Tummy               troubles               in               a               foreign               country               (in               which               90%               of               the               toilets               are               squatty               potties)               is               especially               troublesome,               let               alone               in               your               home               country.

I've               been               battling               this               digestive               dragon               with               apple               cider               vinegar               ever               since               the               culprit               has               colonized               my               colon.

Two               steps               forward               and               two               steps               back.

If               you've               ever               had               apple               cider               vinegar,               it               is               not               for               the               faint               of               stomach               because               holding               one's               nose               can               give               you               minimal               relief               from               the               acidic               smell               and               the               taste               of               it               thereof.

I've               been               drinking               about               ½               cup               3               times               per               day               and               I               can               feel               the               apple               cider               vinegar               actually               clean               my               stomach               only               to               have               my               stomach               retaliate               with               new               food.

I               just               have               to               remember               that               "this               too               shall               pass"               and               I               hope               quite               literally               pass               through               my               gastrointestinal               system               soon!

Thankfully,               my               father               was               prescribed               antibiotics               by               a               doctor               two               years               ago               for               such               a               time               as               food               poisoning….and               saved               my               stomach               (along               with               Thai               super               yogurt,               loaded               with               friendly               stomach               bacteria).
               Superstitions               and               Sanitation
               I               was               dining               with               my               dad,               stepmom               and               husband               (Ted)               at               "The               Floating               Restaurant"               near               the               Bridge               at               the               River               Kwai               (the               site               where               the               Japanese               forced               WWII               POW's               to               build               the               bridge,               resulting               in               multitudes               of               heroic               soldiers'               deaths               from               the               UK               and               the               United               States).

As               we               were               dining               (for               dinner)               I               had               a               crab               salad               and               beef               kabob.

I               then               felt               a               splash               on               the               left               side               of               my               wrist.

To               my               utter               disgust               was               a               black               liquid               substance               resembling               bird               manure               on               my               wrist.

I               was               hoping               it               was               something               other               than               bird               manure.

I               was               wrong.

I               looked               up               and,               confirming               my               repulsion,               were               little               birds               perched               on               the               rafters,               jutting               back               and               forth.

I               was               taken               aback               at               the               thought               that               these               little               birds               were               allowed               to               perch               (there               wasn't               much               that               the               Thai               restaurant               staff               could               do               to               prevent               these               little               birds               from               doing               their               unwelcome               business               in               and               on               the               restaurant               patrons               and               their               food)               there               without               some               type               of               Thai               FDA               shut-down               and               red-tape.

Alas,               part               of               the               ambiance               is               that               it               is               an               outdoor               restaurant.

My               dad               and               stepmom               -               even               though               I               was               repulsed               and               shocked               and               squealed:               "Eeeeeeewwww!

A               bird               crapped               on               my               wrist!"               They               were               laughing               with               delight               and               said,               "Chokedee!"               (meaning               that               being               crapped               on               by               a               bird               or               any               other               animal               was               a               form               of               "good               luck"               and               that               the               powers               that               be               would               bless               me               with               a               large               sum               of               money)               and               encouraged               me               to               play               the               lottery.

Even               in               jest,               they               were               serious.

In               Asian               superstition,               if               someone               has               a               dream               (or               in               reality)               that               they               are               immersed               in               crap               (whether               the               crapper               is               animal               or               human)               then               it               foretells               of               an               auspicious               amount               of               money               that               is               about               to               be               bestowed               upon               the               crappee.

So,               the               next               time               someone               says               that               they               are               "crapped               on"               by               someone               (as               a               figure               of               speech),               the               Asian               notion               is               that               they               will               be               finally               fortunate,               indeed.

My               father               also               told               me               about               the               instance               in               the               movie               "Slumdog               Millionaire"               in               which               the               main               character               falls               into               a               puddle               of               human               excrement               and,               hilariously               enough,               uses               it               to               his               advantage               to               repel               the               doting               fans               of               his               favorite               action               movie               hero               so               he               could               obtain               his               autograph.

Will               I               win               a               large               sum               of               money?

Only               time               will               tell.

If               I               do,               I               will               also               thank               God               for               His               blessings               that               the               bird               didn't               crap               into               the               food               that               I               was               previously               eating               before               I               hastily               shoved               it               away.

If               it               did,               as               the               adage               goes:               "more               protein"!
               When               I               was               a               child               living               in               Thailand               in               the               early               80's,               I               took               no               thought               of               eating               from               street               vendors               in               Thailand               and               I               lived               to               tell               about               it.

Just               like               in               the               U.S.,               they               sell               food               on               carts.

The               only               huge               difference               is               that               the               food               vendors               are               not               required               to               obtain               a               food               or               vendor               license               or               FDA               approval               (to               sell               food               or               any               other               belongings               on               the               street,               for               the               most               part).

Considering               that               all               a               person               needs               is               a               cart,               a               way               to               store               the               unprepared               food               (usually               the               unprepared               food               is               stored               at               outside               temperatures,               which               is               a               breeding               ground               for               bacteria               and               the               like.

Rarely               do               I               see               the               beef,               chicken,               or               fish               on               ice)               and               a               way               to               cook               it               (with               or               without               adequate               sanitation)               the               prospect               of               eating               from               a               vendor               can               be               truly               risky.

Each               time               my               family,               husband               and               I               walked               the               streets               of               Bangkok,               I               was               so               tempted               to               purchase               fish               ball               skewers               (pureed               fish               rolled               up               in               a               ball,               a               little               larger               than               the               size               of               a               big               gumball)               I               would               mention,               longingly,               how               I               wanted               to               purchase               them               at               a               little               less               than               50               cents               USD.

Seeing               that               I               was               determined               to               live               on               the               edge               and               buy               a               fish               ball               skewer               anyway,               as               a               cautionary               warning,               my               father               told               me               how               most               vendors               leave               their               carts               outside               when               they               retire               for               the               evening               and               then               the               scavenger               rats               come               and               lick               the               equipment               and               the               food               (of               course,               the               vendors,               unbeknownst               to               them               of               the               previous               night's               rodent               feast,               just               continue               vending               in               the               morning).

He               performed               an               experiment               in               such               that               he               left               a               soup               ladle               inside               his               own               kitchen               and               a               huge               rat               -               the               size               of               a               New               York               sewer               rat               or               a               tiny               dog,               as               he               described               -               emerged               from               the               crevices               of               the               wall               and               then               lapped               up               the               remaining               soup               residue               off               the               ladle.
               In               an               unrelated               event,               we               were               at               a               New               Year's               Eve               party               that               one               of               my               father's               friends               held               and               the               servers               continued               to               bring               out               Chinese-inspired               Thai               dishes.

My               father,               in               particular,               warned               us               to               be               careful               because               some               "fulungs"               (foreigners               to               Thailand               of               the               Caucasian               persuasion)               have               actually               died               because               of               food               poisoning               due               to               uncooked               or               undercooked               meats.

Ted,               erring               on               the               cautious               side,               decided               to               eschew               the               seafood-laden               salad               in               spite               of               my               pleadings               that               it               was               ok.

My               father               also               said               that               the               safest               bet               -               in               terms               of               sanitary               food               -               was               to               eat               at               a               restaurant.

Considering               there               isn't               any               FDA               intervention,               is               it               a               safer               bet?

I               wonder               what               the               USFDA               would               have               to               say               about               the               little               birds               in               the               rafters               and               their               protein-adding               behavior               at               the               outdoor               restaurant?

Needless               to               say,               we               ate               our               dinner               gingerly,               eyeing               every               meal               with               suspicion               after               that.
               Driving               us               up               the               wall
               New               York….LA….Chicago….Miami…when               drivers               think               of               the               "Carmageddon"               that               usually               occurs               in               rush               hour               traffic,               they               shudder.

Bangkok               is               10               times               worse.

Not               only               do               they               drive               on               the               left               side               of               the               street               (like               England),               but               they               also               drive               on               the               right               side               of               the               car.

Talk               about               becoming               disoriented.

When               I               got               in               the               car               with               my               father               sitting               on               the               right               front               seat               and               Ted               sitting               in               the               left               front               seat,               I               was               shocked               that               Ted               wanted               to               drive               in               the               Bangkok               bedlam,               but               then               I               realized               that               my               dad               was               the               driver               because               he               was               seated               on               the               right.

In               a               discombobulated               mass               of               confusion               and               chaos,               tuk-tuk               drivers               (the               word               "tuk               tuk"               means               "suffer               suffer"               in               Thai               and               I               can               see               why.

The               guests               sit               in               the               back               of               what               resembles               a               golf-cart               with               slight               railings               to               keep               the               patrons               inside               and               the               driver               who               sits               up               front               drives               a               motorcycle.

It's               like               "motorcycle-golf-cart               of               chaos               with               no               seatbelts,               taxis               (non-seat-belted,               of               course),               motorcycle               taxis,               bicyclists,               and               busses               zipping               and               whipping               back               and               forth.

In               spite               of               the               hustle               and               bustle,               drivers               are               relatively               calm               and               even               compassionate.

Hardly               anybody               honks               at               another               person               (like               in               the               U.S.A.

in               which               people               just               honk               if               you               look               at               them               funny)               unless               the               other               driver               does               something               egregious               or               to               let               the               other               driver               know               that               you               are               next               to               them.

They               seem               to               accommodate               one               another               and               hardly               ever               cut               each               other               off.

As               we               hang               on               for               life               and               limb               in               my               dad's               car               ride               in               Bangkok               (that               would               rival               a               Universal               Studios               ride),               we               thank               God               for               arriving               safely               to               our               destinations               (with               the               help               of               "Nancy",               our               GPS               guide).
               My               Kup               Runneth               Over
               Ted               wondered               why               men               say               "kup"               and               the               women               say               "ka"               at               the               end               of               almost               every               sentence.

In               polite               and               courteous               Thai               conversation,               one               can               hear               "ka"               or               "kup"               several               times.

For               instance               (like               certain               other               languages)               men               and               women               start               or               end               their               sentences               according               to               their               gender:               men               say               "Sawadee               kup"               and               women               say               "Sawadee               ka"               for               "hello".

Men               say               "Kup               koon               kup"               and               the               women               say               "Kup               koon               ka"               for               "thank               you".

My               father               would               say               "kup"               several               times               while               speaking               on               his               cell               phone               to               family               and               friends.

Out               of               curiosity,               Ted               asked               what               this               meant.

I               said,               "It               basically               means               a               combination               of               how               southerners               in               the               U.S.

say               "Yes,               sir"/"Yes,               ma'am"               and               "If               you               please"               at               the               end               of               their               conversation               or               every               few               sentences.

In               fact,               if               they               don't               say               "kup"               or               "ka"               at               the               end               of               every               other               sentence,               it's               considered               brash,               bold               and               rude.
               Foreigner               Two               
               http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s81/wedthaigirl/December2012390_zps030371fd.jpg
               Even               though               I               am               100%               Thai,               I               still               get               curious               looks               (Ted               and               I               both               do)               from               Thai               onlookers               who               can't               decide               if               I'm               half-white               and               half-Thai               or               half-Thai               and               half-something-else.

Perhaps               it's               my               height.

Perhaps               it's               my               weight               (I'm               in               the               correct               BMI               at               145-148               pounds,               but               a               little               curvier               than               most               Thai               girls/women).

Perhaps               it's               both.

Even               when               I               speak               Thai,               the               Thais               switch               their               language               to               "Thaienglish"               so               I               can               understand.

Maybe               it's               my               semi-puzzled               or               "deer-in-the-headlights"               look               when               I               try               to               decipher               50%               of               what               they               are               saying.

Ted               naturally               gets               looks               because               blonde               hair/blue               eyes               is               not               usual               in               a               sea               of               black/brown               hair               and               brown               eyes.

It's               interesting               that               Asians               are               still               the               minority               in               the               U.S.

and               even               more               so               in               Florida               (in               which               there               are               only               .5%               Thais               and               2%               Asians               total)               and               people               think               I'm               Latina               usually               so               I               don't               really               garner               curious               looks.

Here,               we               both               do.

It               has               made               us               wonder:               "Do               we               look               funny               to               them?"               "Is               something               on               our               face?"               "Are               we               not               blending               in               enough?"               The               answer               to               why               people               are               looking               at               us               is               simply               that               we               look,               behave,               and               speak               differently               from               the               Thais.

It               was               humorous               that               at               a               New               Year's               Eve               party,               a               Burmese               man               walked               up               to               Ted               and               shook               his               hand               (in               the               evening)               and               said,               "Good               morning,               sir!"               He               was               honored               to               shake               the               hand               of               an               American               (whom               he               thought,               naturally,               was               a               missionary               or               a               teacher               (which               is               what               the               Thais               presume               most               "fulungs"               are               in               Thailand).
               Confrontation               and               Courtesy
               I               notice               that               in               the               U.S.,               people               are               much               more               confrontational               (they               will               confront               you               if               you               walk,               drive,               or               speak               too               fast/too               slow,               do               things               differently               than               them,               etc.).

Here               they               basically               just               live               and               let               live,               which               is               not               to               say               that               people               don't               get               into               arguments.

People               argue,               but               they               don't               normally               argue               or               yell               out               to               strangers.

In               America,               if               a               person               cuts               another               person               off               while               driving               or               cut               in               front               of               them               while               in               line,               someone               will               hear               an               ear-full.

In               Thailand,               this               is               not               the               case.

They               just               basically               feel               that               if               they               are               cut               in               front               of               while               driving               or               walking,               the               other               person               must               have               a               good               reason.

Amazing               how               different               cultures               are.

In               America,               there's               more               individualistic               thinking               and               in               Asia               (and               other               countries)               there's               more               collectivistic               thinking               (doing               things               for               the               greater               good               of               one's               culture               or               family).
               One               thing               I               found               interesting               is               that               each               hotel               or               store               that               we               went               to,               people               were               more               than               accommodating               to               my               dad               and               stepmom               and               even               took               several               minutes               (or               hours)               to               converse               in               a               jovial               manner.

Whether               we               were               in               an               upscale               community               or               the               slums,               people               treated               us               the               same:               with               respect               and               courtesy               and               were               more               than               willing               to               shoot               the               breeze               with               us.
               It's               All               Thai               To               Me
               It's               interesting               that               there               are               several               ways               to               say               the               same               thing               in               English               versus               in               Thai               language               (usually               the               phrasing/words               are               conceptual).

For               instance,               if               you               wanted               to               ask               how               much               the               cost               of               an               item               is               in               English,               you               would               typically               ask,               "How               much               is               that?",               "What               is               the               cost               of               that?"               or               "What               is               the               price               of               that?",               "How               much               does               that               cost?"               or               something               similar.

In               Thai,               two               words               capture               the               thought,               feeling               or               notion:               "Talay,               ka?"               (or               "kup"               if               you're               a               man).

Talay               means               "price".

I               can               understand               why               people,               whose               English               is               a               second               language,               have               a               difficult               time               with               grasping               the               English               language               because               of               all               of               our               phraseology:               adjectives,               adverbs,               verbs,               nouns,               pronouns,               etc.

Even               after               all               these               years,               I               have               to               keep               apologizing               to               Thai               people               that               even               though               I'm               of               Thai               origin,               I               can               barely               speak               it               (and               definitely               can't               write               it               or               read               it).

In               the               last               several               years,               my               dad               has               sent               me               3               or               4               Thai               language               CD's               (wanting               me               to               get               in               touch               with               my               Thai               roots               so               I               can               communicate               effectively               and               so               that               family               members               can               stop               pestering               him               as               to               the               reason               why               I               can't               speak               Thai               fluently).

Each               time,               I               have               had               some               reason               why               I               couldn't               study               the               CD.

I               am               going               to               make               a               concerted               effort               to               learn               Thai               so               people               don't               have               to               switch               to               "Thaienglish"               when               they               talk               to               me.
               Paying               for               Squatty               Potties               and               BYOTP
               I               never               heard               the               term               "squatty               potty"               until               a               few               years               ago.

I               wish               I               had               known               this               phrase               to               describe               squatting               while               performing               one's               business               in               the               restroom,               bathroom,               loo,               or               w.c.

Raised               in               the               U.S.,               I               had               taken               the               luxury               of               sitting               down               on               the               porcelain               receptacle               for               granted.

One               can               usually               read               the               newspaper,               read               a               chapter               of               a               book,               take               a               call               on               the               cell               phone,               etc.

all               from               the               comfort               of               the               porcelain               throne.

Not               so               in               most               restrooms               that               have               squatty               potties               in               Thailand.

When               Thailand               became               more               westernized               and               modernized               (usually               upscale               homes               and               establishments),               they               replaced               the               squatty               potty               with               the               toilet.

I               am               truly               relieved               (in               more               ways               than               one)               when               I               see               a               modern               toilet               in               which               I               can               rest               on               and               become               disconcerted               when               I               see               the               dreaded               squatty               potty:               both               because               it's               truly               uncomfortable               for               me               to               balance               and               also               because               toilet               paper               usually               is               not               within               reach               (or               usually               not               available               at               all)               which               brings               me               to               the               second               point.

Most               establishments               (especially               gas               stations)               that               are               older               (built               before               the               2000's)               don't               offer               toilet               paper               in               the               loo.

In               lieu               of               the               toilet               paper               in               the               loo,               they               might               (if               you're               lucky)               have               a               single               roll               of               toilet               paper               on               the               outside               of               the               entrance               of               the               "rest"room               (called               "hong               nam"               which               literally               means               "room               of               water").

So,               you're               basically               forced               to               prepare               for               your               bathroom               business               by               detaching               from               communal               toilet               paper               and,               heaven               forbid,               you               should               run               out               of               the               toilet               paper               after               you               perform               your               duty.

Most               people               bring               toilet               paper               with               them               in               their               purse               or               satchel               wherever               they               go.

Ted               and               I               have               joined               the               toilet-paper-toting               Thai               masses.

Some               places               charge               5               or               10               bahts               (30               bahts               equal               $1               USD)               to               use               the               toilet.

Now,               I               can               understand               if               they               charge               5               or               10               bahts               to               use               a               sit-down               toilet,               but               for               a               squatty               potty               (in               which               you               have               to               flush               the               squatty               potty               manually               with               a               bowl               full               of               water               floating               in               a               nearby               basin),               the               concept               is               pretty               crappy,               quite               literally.

Alas,               it               does               cost               money               to               operate               the               lights,               water,               etc.

of               a               bathroom,               so               one               has               to               pay               the               (bathroom)               piper               somehow.

Ted               and               I               actually               considered               nearby               trees,               bushes               or               fields               considering               the               alternative               to               pay               for               usage               of               the               toilet.

Now,               I               realize               that               establishments               -               due               to               vagrants               who               would               actually               camp               out               in               the               bathroom               just               to               drink               the               water               from               the               faucet               and               have               a               roof               over               their               heads               -               actually               charge               a               nominal               amount               of               money               not               only               for               operating               costs,               but               to               stave               them               off               so               that               they               do               not               scare               away               paying               patrons.
               Final               Thoughts
               I               wish               that               my               family               lived               close               by               (like               down               the               road)               so               I               don't               have               to               be               separated               from               them               for               long               periods               of               time               due               to               economic,               employment,               business               and               logistical               road-blocks.

The               pangs               of               longing               when               I               hear               other               people               getting               together               with               their               families               often               and               especially               around               the               holidays               (like               my               in-law               family)               often               intensifies               my               desire               to               family               connection               (even               though               my               in-laws               are               also               my               family).

It               had               been               a               little               over               a               decade               since               I               saw               many               of               my               cousins,               uncles               and               aunts               (and               a               few               who               haven't               seen               me               since               I               was               an               8-year-old               kid).

Even               though               I               speak               a               little               Thai               and               they               speak               a               little               English,               and               all               they               expected               and               gave               was               a               "wai"               (slight               nod               with               hands               placed               together               upwardly)               in               terms               of               physical               affection               (when               I               really               want               to               hug               each               of               them),               the               family               bond               was               strong               and               I               could               feel               their               love               and               vice               versa.

I               do               enjoy               the               people,               the               food,               and               the               sight-seeing.

We               made               our               descent               into               New               York               for               a               connecting               flight               to               Miami               (not               only               worlds               apart               geographically,               but               culturally)               and               actually               experienced               reverse               culture               shock.

I               will               have               to               explain               myself               a               little               more               because               people               will               be               more               outspoken,               confrontational,               demanding,               and               self-oriented               of               which               I               am               not               necessarily               looking               forward               to,               so               I               need               to               shift               gears               from               the               attitude               of               my               polite               Thai               counterparts               that               I               had               become               accustomed               to               for               three               weeks               and               switch               gears               to               becoming               more               assertive               once               again.

Each               culture               has               its               set               of               wonder               as               well               as               woe.

As               I               wear               both               my               American               and               Thai               hats               that               have               different               textures,               I               am               grateful               for               the               opportunity               to               be               part               of               both               cultures.







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