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I am tattooed. No biggie, right? I mean every fool on this rock has a tatt somewhere. Are you a lady with a "Tramp Stamp" as they are called? A fella with various inked images on your epidermis? Fine, but what about the ubiquitous "neck tattoo?" Now there is brilliance on the hoof! For the record, it used to be only freaks, derelicts and military personnel had tattoos - well them and Bikers, and I proudly count myself in the Scooter Tramp camp, so it's all good. But as of late everything with $100.00 and a tolerance for slightly irritating pain now is inked somewhere. I quit getttin inked a few years ago when every fool in town got a tattoo. I'm not much of a band wagon jumper on. I was a hardcore Biker a good ten years before it became "cool" to be forty and riding a fire belching V-Twin. Once every doctor, lawyer and Indian Chief got a Hawg, I was ready to move on to greener pastures. I paid my dues and will be honest that once it became "normal" to have a Harley, I no longer cared to have one. Same/same for ink. I can't even tell ya the number of times one would see one of my tatts and ask, "Oh, were you in the military?" Odd especially in that my tatts are decidedly "biker" oriented, a la a large winged skull & crossbones on my left forearm with the top rocker saying "Harley" and the bottom rocker saying "Davidson." Gee, wasn't it self explanatory? Getting inked is fine by me. But when one crosses the line of reason and inks their neck, face or knuckles, I wonder to myself, "Bet your parent's are really proud, ain't they?" I wonder if their kid knows their parent's reared an idiot - just askin'? Now I would never argue I am the arbiter of the universe, but once one inks their neck, face or knuckles, that's it. Except for the arduous, painful and expensive tattoo removal services, which don't work perfectly anyway, one is marked for life and in a very public way too. My ink is on my arms. I can slip on a long sleeved shirt and who knows? No one does, and that's the point. I have the ability to use discretion should I deem it appropriate. If I wanna show my ink I do. If I want to go into a professional environment and not be seen as an outsider or a complete idiot, I can cover my tatts and no one knows. It's my choice, and that is a good thing. Yeah, rebel without a clue, are ya? Indeed! Neck tattoos are obscene. One has made sure that short of becoming a pro athlete, music star or some other rare career where money or fame supersedes good sense, one is now marked as an idiot for the world to see. Take your neck tattoo, put on a suit and go apply for a job as a junior executive on the career path to glory - good damn luck with that! People are judged by their actions. Unless you have a good or service the world demands over their demanding decorum, the neck, face and knuckle tattooed fool is pigeon-holed as a derelict, and I would agree with that characterization. I know derelicts - way too many of them. They all have one thing in common - piss poor impulse control and/or exceptionally poor judgment that borders on insanity. The neck tattoo is like the face tattoo, only slightly LESS troublesome, but why quibble over fractional measures of stupidity? While the neck tattoo is a clear demonstration of poor judgment and a lacking maturity, the face tattoo is full-blown stupidity. Ever seen a dude with a "teardrop" tattooed under one eye? Anyone know what that is supposed to mean? It means you have murdered another Human Being, or it did in its original iteration - now I just guess it's supposed to be cool. Not so much. For the life of me I cannot see the virtue in marking oneself for life in a way that cannot be concealed. Of course one who has resigned themselves to derelicthood no longer cares - they have "checked out" of society. Hope they will always love that choice, for it is permanent. If one is proud of their derelict status, hey, I'm happy for ya. If ya do not yet have a neck or face tatt, by all means go get one quick. It will cement your status for all time. And for my parting shot, ladies, do not tattoo your arms. There is little less classy than to see a woman with a large arm tattoo. Not a heart on their wrist or some tiny and minor little thing, but I mean a real arm tattoo. When I see a chick with an arm tattoo I think to myself, "Wow! There goes a classy lady!" Sorry ladies, but I am a traditionalist. I like women to be feminine. If I wanted a cursing, farting, belching tattooed lover I would bone an f-ing man. Let me be clear - I have no issue with a Tramp Stamp - I think they're kinda sexy, but then again, they can easily be concealed, therefore appropriate. But a women with a tatt on her arm, and I mean a major one, is marked as one of questionable judgment. So, dear arm tattooed lady type creature, do ya wear long sleeves in the office in August? How's that "putting on an elegant dress and going to an upscale event thing" working for ya? Get a lot of odd stares do ya? Yeah. That's we less self-indulgent folks with a tad more self-control and not nearly so apt to give in to impulse crowd. We are staring at your exposed arms and wondering what you were thinking when ya thought to get marked forever in an obvious and difficult to conceal manner. How did ya think that would make ya sexy? Desirable? Trendy? Hip? People need to not be stupid. Exercise a little common sense and self control. One needn't indulge every whim. And certainly, no one needs to indulge the whim to get a face, neck or knuckle tattoo. That just shows how immature one is. And if a lady would desire to be seen as a lady, stick to the tramp stamp that can at least be covered. That way the tramp stamped lady need only avoid plunging back line formal wear, right? Or be an idiot. Get a neck tattoo, or ladies, be sure to get that big, ugly whatever on your forearm. Or better yet, just prove to the world you have checked out of society and get a face tatt. Might I suggest a little tear drop under the outside corner of either eye that suits ya? Good luck with that! |
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